Really by now I should be in front of my self knowing which way am going or at least what road I am on when it comes to the break up of my relationship but no not me,I gotta do things the hard way,just when I think I am stronge enough to walk away,I see him once and listen to his sad ways and what fors,then before I know it hes slept in my bed for two nights and thinks all is well,what is wronge with me,yes I love him,this I cant deny,but I am also aware that having an alcoholic as your boyfriend is having a life of emptiness and memory loss from their selfish ways.  Having spent two days in his company after giving him the cold shoulder for weeks I really thought he he relized that he was loosing me and was out to prove that he was going to mend his ways,but I watched with my own two eyes as his words fell to the way side and his memory erased all what was said when he gulped on his pint of beer towards the end of the evening,not only is the drink to blame but I also relized that he snorts alot of cocain which I believe is the cause for his loud and eratic behaviour. I have got over most of him over the past three years so am not afraid of the relationship ending as I feel thats happend already,but for what ever reason and I havnt worked it out yet,we just seem to fit like hand in glove yet couldnt be more different if we tried,oh well ,no doubt I will be blogging about him some more,untill then I hope you are happy in love.